Monday, January 14, 2019
Dear Dad, You were a role model, friend, team mate, and teacher. You showed me through the years how to behave and how to conduct myself with the appropriate manners. You taught me all the things in life the schools omit or just skim over. You became such an integral part of my life, it is scary to even contemplate being without you. I lived and breathed you. Taking care of you over the 9 years of this cancer, the last 2 being the roughest, was an honour and privilege. It was never considered a burden. You were never without your smile inside the house or when you left it. I never thought it could be possible, but you improved your outlook, generosity, and kindness. For a man who became physically weaker as the days moved forward, you showed such strong Catholic faith, such resilient spiritual strength and enormous growth of character. The loss of you in this world has made all of us numb and feeling empty. Your beautiful funeral at Assumption and entombment at Heavenly Rest Cemetary on such a warm, sunny day helped to soothe the wound of your death. I am now a lost ship at sea. No longer any doctor's appointments, tests, treatments, procedures or examinations. Just a house echoing in your silence. Mother will help me pick up the pieces left in your absence. Family in Quebec will avail themselves for anything I may need, but I will never be the same without you. A significant piece of myself died on March 12, 2010, the exact same month and day your beloved brother Camille died last year. I will never look at that date or your burial date, exactly 4 months from your 79th birthday, the same way again. All the experiences from the day before you met Mom are now lost. Only the brief details of those years you decided to share with me, will I remember. I feel such sorrow. My strong rudder is now gone, and it is up to me now, to steer my life onto a new course and heading. A location on earth I do not yet know. Fear and uncertainty will be there, but will not control me. I hope to make you proud and have your heart filled with happiness as you watch me from Heaven. As for the stumbles and mistakes along the way, please overlook them as a part of learning to live without you. You taught me well, the only wish I had was that you would be here with me longer. Please be the first to welcome me to heaven when it is my time to take my last breath. I will save the tear in my eye at the moment of death for the joy of seeing you. You were a good man, but the last year's worth of trial and suffering made you into a great man. It was an honour and a privilege to be your caregiver and most importantly, your son. With love, and the most heart felt gratitude of having you as a father, Your Son, Robert Marc Fortier.
